


In the beginning

by FragileObject



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Falling In Love, First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 15:33:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FragileObject/pseuds/FragileObject
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto knows he's not ready, but he wants more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Al principio](https://archiveofourown.org/works/724867) by [FragileObject](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FragileObject/pseuds/FragileObject). 



> I sincerely apologize for my humble english. Thank you very much for reading.

Gwen was the first at leaving and she did it with a smile. She was meeting Rhys and some friends. She deserved an evening of laughter and gossip to catch up on the lives of ordinary people. It was Saturday afternoon and all was quiet in Torchwood. Neither alarms nor rift activity detection. If only it could last till Monday... They all needed a break, a change of pace. Owen sang for a while going back and forth with surgical instruments and some tissue samples for testing until he looked at the clock and saw that it was time to go home, shower, grooming, and miss out on the Cardiff nightlife. Tosh left the Hub minutes later. She had lots of code lines to debug but she could do it at home with a bottle of wine, relaxing music and her feet on a pouf. The diversity of modern life knew no bounds.

As the gear door was closed, Ianto looked up from the weapon he was tuning and glanced toward his boss’ office. All was quiet, Jack had not been seen in the past two hours and Ianto imagined him there, sitting behind his big desk, reviewing paperwork and, perhaps, lost in the depths of his mind. He was a strange man. Bright and wise. Intrepid as anyone. Imaginative and fun, he used to speak about unlikely things that made everyone laugh and sometimes even blush. It was extremely responsible with his work and the lives of the people that it affected. He was often inflexible, implacable. Ianto had even come to call him cruel. Jack Harkness was a mystery. And besides, he was insanely attractive.

Ianto kept the tools he had been using, always faithful to himself, always observant of order and neatness, and headed for the kitchen. While preparing coffee, his mind wandered again along the winding roads that had led him up to that moment, on that Saturday night. He had done everything for Lisa. He had tried several approaches to get into Torchwood. Lisa had been his only motivation to do what he had done... or not? She was gone now and, in a way, he was free. Free to recognize that he was doing things for himself, by his own will, and not for the benefit of another person. He realized that he loved what he did. Torchwood was constantly threatened by chaos and that, precisely, was his job: keeping order. In a vast variety of ways. After the discovery of his betrayal and the terrible, tragic end of it, Ianto was convinced that Jack was going to erase his memory and separate him from all. But that did not happen. Everything went on as before. Or almost everything. It had been a few weeks and, to his dismay, Ianto had realized he missed Jack. It had been himself, Ianto, who had started the game. He had done it for Lisa. At least, the first day was for Lisa. In desperation, he dared not to think how far he would have to go, he just knew he had to seduce the strange and beautiful Captain Harkness at any rate. Jack resisted at first. Later, Ianto achieved his objectives. And, to his surprise, keeping the flirting game with his new boss was much easier than he thought. He never had to stop him or do something that he was not sure he could do. Jack never lunged at him, he always respected his space. Reluctantly, Ianto had to admit that the situation was funny... even exciting.

Jack yielded smiles and intimate gestures to right and left with an impressive naturalness. And almost always they were well received at home and abroad, that was part of his power, few could resist him. But didn’t his eyes shine differently when the smile was for Ianto? Didn’t his large and loving hands stop a little more on the shoulders of Ianto? Weren’t his most flattering and less scurrilous compliments always for him? These gestures were completely gone since that fateful night. Lisa was gone, that part of his life was over forever... And Ianto missed Jack.

He filled a cup with his best coffee, put it on a tray along with a pair of homemade scones he had bought especially a few hours before and headed for the stairs. He had walked these same steps hundreds of times in recent months, but he had never been so nervous as at that moment.

As expected, Jack was sitting behind his desk, with a mountain of paperwork on each side. He looked up just a moment when Ianto entered the office.

—Ah, Ianto. Coffee... You read my thoughts...

His blue shirt was as clear as his eyes and Ianto wondered again why he had to realize things like that. But it didn’t matter, he had accepted it. His decision was made.

—You have not left here in hours, I assumed you'd be hungry —Ianto said depositing the tray on the table.

—And buns! You brought me buns! —he cried happy as a child, looking up and looking straight to Ianto. His smile could have lit up the darkest street of Cardiff—. What have I done fine to deserve this?

Ianto walked around the table and stood next to him, very close, while looking into his eyes. He put a hand on the back of the chair but quickly moved it to Jack’s. He moved his hand a few centimetres, stroking the fabric of the shirt, between the shoulder blades of the Captain.

—The other have long gone... There’s just you and me.

Jack’s smile faded though he did not move.

—What are you doing, Ianto? —he said softly.

Ianto’s fingers froze. The tone of Jack’s voice was sweet but denoted a clear rejection. The young man raised his hand, trembling, and wished that the earth could swallow him there. He had thought so much about that moment, he had prepared himself for what might happen but had not thought he might be rejected. Obviously, he did not know Jack at all.

—I... I thought...

—Ianto... you don’t have to do this.

The young man looked down at the floor. His ears were burning.

—I thought you had forgiven me... —he whispered.

Jack turned his chair to face him.

—And I have forgiven you, Ianto. I understand why you did what you did, and I forgive you. You are a member of Torchwood... You don’t need to try to seduce me, I won’t fire you. I thought we made that clear... I like how you work. Let’s finish this and return to our work.

Ianto tried to collect his thoughts. Jack thought his “advances” were due to an attempt to assert his position inside the team, to a sort of apologizing for what had happened with Lisa... That wasn’t exactly a rejection... Just a few seconds later, his fingers were stroking Jack’s neck again.

—Jack...

—Ianto... but what are you doing? —Jack asked patiently.

—I...

—You don’t have to do this —said Jack grabbing the young man by the wrists. His gaze, fixed in Ianto’s blue and troubled eyes, was clean and comprehensive—. It’s ok, we are at peace, don’t torture yourself any more.

Ianto freed his hands, leaned over and planted a clumsy kiss on Jack’s lips. At first, Jack froze and Ianto didn’t know whether to go on or separate but, after a moment, the kiss became more natural. Short and shallow, but a real kiss.

—Ianto... —Jack said as they parted.

—No, Jack, let me talk —Ianto said. He was shaking and Jack felt very sorry for him—. I lied at first... It’s true, I lied, I did it for Lisa. I teased you and made you get into this stupid game of... indirects, provocations and gallantry. Then... then I realized I had fallen into my own trap. I thought I was doing it for her, to earn your trust... but I was kidding myself. I did it because I liked it, I was enjoying every moment. Every look, every word and every... rubbing.

—What are you trying to say? —Jack asked in a firm voice.

Ianto approached Jack again. He came so close than one of the Captain thighs was caught between his. Jack tilted his head back to look into Ianto’s eyes. His expression was inscrutable as Ianto rested his hands on the arms of the chair, cornering him against its back, and the right thigh of the young Welshman was dangerously close to his crotch.

—That if you’re still okay... I’d like to try...

—Do you want to have a relationship with me?

—Yes, Jack —Ianto whispered.

—A sexual relationship? —Jack asked, his clearest voice.

Ianto hesitated. His heart was pounding.

—Well, I... Yes... of course yes... That’s what I mean.

—Why?

—Because... I like you, Jack.

It was hard to look into those so transparent eyes. Ianto tried to concentrate on his boss lips. They were perfect and dark. They were parted and he could see the edge of his teeth, splendorously big and white. He immediately realized that it was not a good idea and looked at his eyes again.

—But you don’t like men, Ianto —Jack said with a friendly smile.

—Damn it, Jack. I’m not lying, not now, never more. You’re the first man... I like... I could not believe it... but I like you a lot. And I... I want...

—You’re trembling with fear. Why don’t you stop torturing yourself and forget this?

—I don’t want to forget! I like you, Jack, and I want... I want to try... if you want. And... of course I have fear, I have never been with a man... But... I need...

Ianto grabbed Jack by the neck, kissed him again and Jack allowed him. It was a soft kiss but much more defined than before.

—I don’t want you to hurt yourself, Ianto. I don’t want to force yourself to something you don’t...

—I want it, Jack —Ianto whispered in Jack’s lips.

—Then it’s me who doesn’t want to hurt you...

Ianto smiled nervously, trying to ease the tension he felt throughout his body.

—I trust your experience... You won’t hurt me.

Jack couldn’t help laughing.

—My God, Ianto, are you serious?

Ianto grabbed Jack’s thigh between his legs. He moved even closer to Jack’s body and almost sat on his thigh. The friction of the tissues and the skin below the tissues was evident, warm... almost maddening.

—Yes, Jack. Do you want me to... stay tonight? —the young man gasped.

Jack smiled, pulled the boy to him and kissed him deeply while clasping him in his arms, plunging one of his hands on Ianto’s neck and passing the other below the vest and then, changing the direction, below the belt. Ianto froze but tried soon to follow suit. Jack extinguished the kiss without removing the hand. With his other hand he touched the young man’s reddened cheek.

—No, Ianto, I don’t want you to stay.

Ianto couldn’t believe his ears. He thought he had convinced him.

—But...

—You’re terrified.

—I’m not —he lied.

For any answer, Jack loosened Ianto’s belt with a quick and a little rough motion and lowered the waist of his pants a few centimetres. He lifted the shirttail, exposing a bit of Ianto’s lower belly soft skin and stroked the hair with his thumb. Then he deposited there his lips, infinitely hot and slightly humid, while his other hand, even still inside Ianto’s underwear, descended even a bit more and his experts fingers explored more thoroughly. Ianto stiffened with goosebumps and his heart racing, and uttered a slight groan, gripping the arms of the chair. Then, Jack withdrew both hands with a half smile and recomposed the young men’s clothing with the skills of a mother.

—Go home, Ianto Jones —he said softly—. Tomorrow will be another working day.

Ianto stood on his feet, a little dizzy, and stepped away from the desk.

—Okay... —he said, surrendering. He looked desolate, ashamed. He had lost his chance. As he left the full cup of coffee and the scones on the table and picked up the empty cup, he fought to repress a tear. His ears were still burning and he couldn’t look at Jack’s eyes. He could never look at then again! He had lost the woman he loved in a traumatic way, but because of his lies he had also lost the opportunity to experience something that he would have liked. Because he really liked Jack. Too much. That night in the store, right after hunting Myfanwy, he had felt something... Oh, God, he hated himself for it, but he was smart and honest enough with himself to admit it... He had felt something he had never come to feel for Lisa. And it was just in an instant! And after what had just happened, he would never know what that feeling was. He would never know if he’d have been able to love Jack Harkness.

When he was near the door, Jack called him again. His voice was again the energetic leader of Torchwood’s voice.

—Ianto, I want you tomorrow to go to deposit B31. I want the Ashuri weapons inventory.

—Yes, sir — he replied.

—I also want you to take a look at the SUV. I think the GPS system hitches are unbalanced.

—Yes, sir. Anything else, sir?

—Thanks for the coffee and the buns.

—You’re welcome, sir.

—And... just one more thing... —Jack lifted his head and the eyes of the two men intertwined. At that instant, Ianto convinced himself that Jack wasn’t like the other human. Nobody could convey so much with a single glance—. I love that three-piece suit... Jeans are great on you, but that suit and that red shirt... are the kind of things that can make someone lose their head. At least to me.

Ianto’s eyes widened at Jack’s words. They shone and his cheeks flushed again, this time with complacency. His heart beat strong, but without any fear. He stared at Jack and smiled.

—I still love your coat.

Jack laughed and nodded.

—Good night, Ianto.

—Good night, sir.

 

The next day, as usual, Ianto was the first to arrive at the Hub for work. His red was glowing under his impeccable suit and the coffee he served Jack for breakfast was so great that Jack lost focus of the report he was writing and had to close his eyes to regain his composure.

 

A few days after the conversation in Jack’s office, Ianto didn’t return to his apartment to sleep. It was the first night he spent with the Captain, and the first that Jack spent with some company in his little den. They talked, drank good wine, kissed a lot and began to explore each other. During a time, Jack allowed Ianto to try, understand and learn. He didn’t want to make love to him until some weeks later.

 

When, after a few months, Jack died of an extraterrestrial devil from another dimension, incomprehensible to the human mind, Ianto thought his head and his heart would burst because of so much pain and tears. Despite the few, little things they had shared and the lightness with which his boss seemed to take things related to feelings, Ianto had found his answer: yes, he could love Jack Harkness. With all his heart.

So when Jack came back to life a few days later to abandon all of them within few hours, Ianto Jones vowed to himself that he would wait for him. Because Jack was going to come back, he was convinced. Jack had to come back... What they both had had just begun. In a way he couldn’t explain, Ianto had guessed, had seen, if he could use that word, that their adventure together through space and time, would be very long. What the young Welshman couldn’t understand by then was the significance and dimensions of this adventure. He only knew Jack would come back and he would be waiting for him.


End file.
